the art of Influence
If you’re selling, you’ve lost the game. Sadly, most people make the mistake of selling their idea vs. providing a solution to a problem that someone will open their wallet to get or move them to act. In the coaching and consulting industry, most don’t know the difference. I will take this opportunity to bring clarity to this topic and move you into INFLUENCER mode and out of sales mode.
We all know anyone can be a salesperson. It’s a job title handed out like candy on Halloween and can easily make you just as sick to your stomach when you think you are slick and do too much. And we know people don’t like salespeople but like solutions to their problems. And they love it when someone connects them to the answer to their problems.
IT ONLY TAKES 2 (LEARNED) PERSONALITY TRAITS TO BE GOOD AT INFLUENCING
The first is Empathy. I’m not talking about that Gary Vee shit he’s always interrupting people with. I love me some Gary Vee, but interrupting someone is about the most non-empathetic thing you can do.
To establish Empathy, you must LISTEN. Just being empathetic is not enough; they must KNOW you have Empathy. Empathy means you understand their situation. To understand, you must listen. You are talking ONLY when asking clarifying questions and seeking to understand.
The second is confidence in your competence. Competence comes from experience (from making mistakes) and knowledge (from the lessons learned), increasing your self-confidence. You will easily influence if you have listened and know a solution, right next step, or course of action based on your experience and knowledge.
It would be best if you also had the confidence NOT to be the one always talking or the center of attention. It’s not about you; it’s about the other person’s needs and their “right” solution.
Selling insinuates you’re doing the exact opposite of the two traits described above. Selling is all about attention and talking, a good game regardless of the other person's needs.
Influencing conveys that your ego is not in charge, and that you know how to solve problems for the greater good. You know how to see things through to the end. The end of the discussion with a decision to move forward. To take action to do something that you conveyed as the solution to their problem. Or to move towards a different but equally viable solution. You saw them through to the end of the decision-making process. You established trust and created an impact.
Remember, you can open-up and talk to as many people as possible and not move forward to a decision. Influence is about getting to the end and prompting action. That’s how you make a difference.
You get rewarded for influencing, not for selling. It’s time we act accordingly.
